Coping with Redundancy

I have recently been told I am being made redundant.

I was informed in what was described as an “informal discussion”, which as I respectfully pointed out was neither informal, nor was it a discussion.

Actually, during the conversation, I kept thinking how awful it must be for my boss having to tell so many people something so awful: not an experience anyone would enjoy or choose to do unless they really had to. “Shit things can happen to good people” she said. “Yes and good things happen to shit people”  I joked, thinking of greedy bankers still getting their bonuses, whilst so many lives are left in tatters. 


Redundant: a word that means superfluous, needless, and excess – so it’s not a great start on the road to self-esteem. It knocks you and changes who you are - albeit temporarily - it's hard to really relax or truly enjoy anything. One decision about you and your life has changed and come to a standstill. Your head is filled with all kinds of worries and concerns resulting in many sleepless nights. "It’s the role it's not personal" they say, but it feels like a professional slap in the face: everything you do five days a week, eight hours a day seems, in the final analysis, to have been unimportant. Going back in to work is incredibly hard, you were once part of a big team, all committed to a shared goal and now you feel like an isolated individual with no motivation to make a difference anymore and yet you still care about the people you work with, so you force yourself to stay positive and professonal.


The good thing? How kind and thoughtful people are. My loved ones are typically unswerving and supportive and one special person has been nothing short of amazing (Thank You A - elephant juice). I am also lucky that I won’t ever be literally homeless, so I am blessed. What has been so helpful is how great my friends have been. I have been sent a set of inspirational books, like Anthony Robbins - Waking the Giant Within (TY S), some fantastic career advice(TY A), general help and support (TY S), suggested job site links (TY C), empathetic email sharing a similar experience (TY M), invite to visit for some R&R (TY A), and many words of kindness and encouragement through cards, texts and emails. This is what keeps us going, so don't underestimate your random acts of kindness. Today a quiet sweet secretary, who I hardly know, came into my office and asked if I was okay and gave me such a sweet and kind smile. I left work feeling a bit happier knowing when most people are good, so is life.

So, what next...who knows...

No such thing as bad luck?

In one month - the following things have stopped working or got badly damaged...

My heating.
My CD player.
My printer.
My camera.
My laptop.
My TV.
My phone.
My car.
My car again.
My leg.

Okay kidding about the leg.

DON'T treat us mean, to keep us keen...

Every women reaches a stage when she realises that the treat-'em-mean types are a waste of time and toxic. Luckily, my visit to Bad Boy Island was many years ago and definitely not worth the effort or hassle. Also, from personal dating experiences and confirmed in discussions with male friends: when a man comes across a woman of quality, who could be someone special, they step up and increase their game.

The men who get and keep my attention are without any doubt, those who have the confidence and emotional maturity to show the Keen Card, right from the start. Like sending a pre-first date text along the lines of 'looking forward to meeting you'. Smart guys who are interested text really quickly post-date to check you have got home, thank you for the evening and ask about another meet. I don't know one happily married woman who got treated shabbily by her husband when they met. There will be exceptions of course, but mine and other single girls' experiences have been, silence is not a good sign, so (get ready to) move on.