I had a complicated relationship with my mother, it was full of conflict and love. We lost her to cancer in April 2007. She was an extrordinary woman and has left a big gap in our lives. When I heard this poignant song by Christina Aguilera...I couldn't believe how near to the bone the lyrics were.
I have picked out the lines that really hit home.
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face...
...If only I knew what I know today, ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms; I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh
Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
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April falls on the morning dew;
Sunlight glistens for the chosen few;
Darkness fades, though the memories remain;
Teardrops exploding like the teeming rain.
The missing words... left unspoken;
An indomitable spirit never broken;
A Mother’s love that never cools;
Maybe we are all just April fools.
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