Please, please tell me - which expectations?
That I am going to marry Donny Osmond, Suggs or Robbie Williams?
Done already. I have not been holding out for a super rich, successful, incredibly buff or handsome man. I know none of that may last, so not a reason to select someone. I am not Angelina Jolie, so not expecting Brad Pitt to father my kids (or adopt them!).
That you should be very attracted to one another and have buckets of chemistry? Okay, if this is the one then I have made a huge mistake. I thought feeling wobbly bonkers about each other was crucial? I have met scores and scores of fabulous men whom I get on with famously and have lots in common with - just no chemistry. Not a decision I personally can make straight away as it's not about just looks for me, but an inner confidence, humour, emotional intelligence, how they look at me and how they listen to me. Oh, and that twinkle in their eye that says "try me, I'm fun to be with". Am I meant to go for Harold Bishop look alikes just because they want to spoil me wotten and tweat me like a pwincess?! Ugh...I can't do that !!!
That they are your best friend and greatest ally?
How else do you get through the tough times in life if you can’t laugh, talk and support one another? I need someone who can feel the pain, joy and concerns have in life and vice versa.
That Mr Right is also Mr Perfect?
I lost this hope at about 16 and frankly, once I grew up and realised I was not a perfect girlfriend either and made mistakes too, it’s been a relief to trade mistakes and forgiveness. As long as Mr Right can communicate and keep trying, then that's all I want.So, what expectations am I missing?
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5 comments:
No, you are not missing anything. I think a lot is about luck. It's about knowing that there is no such thing as the perfect man (or woman). There is always a compromise of some kind, there is always something that is not ideal. It might be visual, or a personality trait or their circumstances. I guess you decide what compromises you are prepared to make and what you can't. If someone knows how to cherish you, makes you feel great, happy, loved and enhances your life by being in it - then compromises seem minor.
Sometimes whilst waiting at a pelican crossing, I think ‘am I missing something’? Most of us humans come with a set of contradictions, just that some of us are more extreme than others. Relationships are hard work but initially everything should be easy, natural, allowing each person to express themselves freely with no boundaries or pre-conditions. For me any successful ship (relation, companion, friendship etc...) is all about mutual attitudes and values.
I would always encourage anyone to reach for the stars in whatever they are doing or thinking, carry on, always looking up and forward not down and back, and if there are days when you feel that the stars and sky seem out of reach, then gather your thoughts, before re-doubling your efforts for another day.
When skies are grey and frustrations are high,
You want to smile but can only heave a sigh,
Cares and troubles may get you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but please don't quit.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you are running up seems all up hill,
Sometimes it is easy to think of giving up,
When a little more effort would capture the cup.
Life can be strange with its twists and turns,
This is something in time all of us learns,
Believe in yourself when hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Don’t settle for second-best, my instincts tell me you are worth more.
Patience is a virtue.
Paul
Thanks Paul, really interesting and encouraging comments. Made me smile.
Seems all perfectly reasonable.
Lots of women seem to be expecting a rich bloke to spoil them and provide for them. If that doesn't matter to you, then that's very attractive and admirable.
Well my theory is you don't choose someone on anything that could be lost or change: like looks or money. I think it's about who someone is, what they can do, not what they have that matters. A kind, thoughtful man with talent will be that way at 40, 60, 80.
Though, at the risk of sounding like a saint - I don't think endless dreamers who achieve nothing are attractive.
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